I KNOW! I'm, like, never here. But I'm coming back, I swear.

For one thing, I've been doing a ton of writing, most of which isn't popping up anywhere yet, but I'll tell you when it does. Lots of projects. Lots.

In the meantime, if you pick up next week's TV Guide, which should have football players on the cover, you can see me take a few shots at the new Apprentices. Fun! Me, being opinionated and mean! Can you believe they pay me to do what I would be doing anyway?

Speaking of which, I am gearing up for a hilariously busy fall, considering that all three of the reality shows I recap are going to run at the same time. Zoiks.

And, of course, over here, I've been doing lots of yapping about the Precor and the Core and the corn-bean-salad thingy. For more about that, also read Mo.

It's going to be a really full plate from now till December. Two and a half weeks till The World's Silliest and Most Awesome Party in New York, and a month after that, I'm going to my high school reunion. And I still want to get to Portland to see FlyBoy, whom I have been neglecting.

Man, I am busy.