June 09, 2006
Off To The Big City
Evan and I are making our way to New York today, and will (believe it or not) be on television for the next three days in a row. For details, check out the book's page.
08:26 AM
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You looked great on my TV Saturday morning. Although, was it just me or was Hoda being kind of a sexist wanker?
Hoda was a doll, actually. She was actually familiar with the book, and she was really sweet to us. They were nice there.
I seriously hope that somebody will show up who saw the Fox News thing on Sunday morning, so that somebody other than me can sort of... explain what happened there when the chapter called "Good Girls Don't" was discussed. Because that? Was interesting.
I'm glad she was nice, it just looked like she was ignoring you and "talking-over-you" to Evan. It's a pet peeve I have from business meetings where people talk to my male boss, when I'm the one actually answering the questions.
I missed Fox on Sunday, but Dayside was freaky. There was one moment where the anchors were just, well, doing whatever the hell it was they were doing, and the look on your face was absolutely perfect.
At any rate - congrats on your junket.
Mm, yes, DaySide. Where we were on between the chihuahua races and the lady golfer. That was a little bit... I don't think I can improve on "freaky," actually.
We think the chihuahuas actually stole like a minute from us. Damn chihuahuas.
Yes. Chihuahua races. They're fast, but sneaky.
I had a hard time deciding whether the best part was the weirdass montage they were running while you were talking, the faces the guy was making behind the woman's head, the part where the woman admits to not actually having READ THE BOOK, or, well, the part where they just freaking LEFT THE STAGE in the middle of your interview.
But then, check your TIVO... The best part is actually your face the second time they show you, where you become the absolute personification of WTF???????
FoxNews - Dadaist news for the 21st century. I'm sorry I missed your Sunday appearance.
BUT - the Today appearance was actually pretty cool and good. You guys are both articulate and the book sounds awesome. You are now a published author, as God intended. I hope the masses come to want to know Why They are Still Single.
Amy
« close it
June 06, 2006
Slow News Day
I don't want to say they couldn't find anything to write about in the local news today, but this kind of makes me wonder.
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Well, if the neighborhood news is that slow, how come the police haven't called me back about my shrub burglary? You heard me. I live in Mac-Groveland, and somebody came in the middle of the night and dug up and absconded with two shrubs from right in front of my house. I thought St. Paul's finest would come up with sirens blaring, but not so much. They haven't even returned my phone call.
« close it
October 11, 2004
Steel
There's such a cult of celebrity, and in most cases, it's so hollow.
Actors and athletes and people who are famous for attending parties. This one dates that one, that one leaves his wife for the other one, and honestly, it's all spectacle, because none of it matters.
And then you have your Christopher Reeve.
I can remember thinking at one point, even when I was pretty young, "That is the best-looking man I have ever seen, just empirically." I mean, come on. I'll grant you that he's precisely my particular "type," as far as what makes me go all googly-eyed, but every once in a while, you just see a guy who makes you go, "Damn."
Furthermore, Superman is a much harder movie to make than people think. Think about the cold slickness of a movie like Spider-Man. Think about the flops like Hulk and all that. No one has ever really gotten the tone exactly right quite like they did in the first two Superman movies. That pair of movies is so affectionate, and so lovely, and so funny, and so silly, and so rich with myth. And oh, so very swooningly romantic.
It's hard, getting Superman right. The easy part is looking gorgeous in the cape, just uncorking those sky-blue eyes like you don't even know you're doing it. What made Reeve so good, I think, was partly the way he inhabited the Clark Kent half of the equation. He was so ridiculous, with the giant glasses and that enormous suit packing that enormous frame . . . it's such a dumb story, you know? Glasses, and . . . poof! Nobody can tell. Being profoundly silly and being a lusty matinee idol at the same time is a hard climb. Reeve was one of the only people I've ever seen get it really right. I mean, think about the later Dean Cain incarnation -- I loved that show, but Clark was already hot in it. Cain could never have really made Clark a dork. Christopher Reeve's Clark was a dork.
For him to have a paralyzing injury almost seemed like something headline writers made up to entertain themselves at a party. What would you write if the guy who played Superman wound up in a wheelchair, unable to breathe on his own? It was too suggestive, too self-consciously ironic, too obvious. I mean, who would believe that? Honestly, who would believe it?
No matter how brave they are, most brave public figures you read about don't really affect your outlook. I can think of two in my lifetime who did. The first is Alex Deford, the daughter of sportswriter Frank Deford, who died of cystic fibrosis when she was eight. Alex and I were almost the same age, and I read her dad's book about her probably when I was in high school, and she just always stayed with me. The other one was Christopher Reeve. There was something about . . . not just the activism, though yes, that, too. There was something about the way he played the hand he was dealt without either claiming he didn't mind -- he was pissed, and he was sick of not being able to walk, and every goddamn day he was trying to change the situation -- or sinking into sadness.
It's just such a shame. You have things you just hope you'll get to hear someday, even though they don't seem likely -- that Sars found Don, that Jacob Wetterling came home, and, for me, that Christopher Reeve turned out to be right, and it's a good thing he kept up all that hard freaking work, because today he got up and walked, and there he is, and look at him. I really hoped. Foolishly, probably, but still.
I guess that to me, the lesson of Christopher Reeve is that any hand is playable. No matter what you've built your life on up to a particular point, any hand is playable. You can be a guy who rose up as a gorgeous, athletic actor, and you can be paralyzed from the neck down, and you can have a meaningful, rich life after that. You can have taken from you everything that outside appearances would suggest you've worked your whole life to achieve, and you can accomplish most of the most meaningful things you'll ever do between that time and the end of your life. And in that sense, he really is an extraordinary story. I will miss being reminded, but will try to remember.
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And I was holding up so well, too ... thanks for putting dashed hope into such fine words, and for honoring such a good, strong man.
He's not at all my particular type, but it really doesn't get much hotter than this picture right here.
I, too, was saddened when I heard the news, because I, too, thought he would get up and walk. I know it's cheesy and some people don't believe it, but I do find solace in the fact that he IS walking now, somewhere.
Thanks so much for this post. You just hit everything I thought about Christopher Reeve--
It's good to know that I wasn't the only person that admired what he did after being paralyzed and that so wanted him to get up and walk again. If for nothing else, than that he brought attention to something so other people could realize their dream too.
That was really beautiful writing. Thanks so much.
heart
Beautifully said, Linda. And yeah, the first two movies meant a lot to me as a kid. Richard Donner was never able to recapture the magic after those.
I had honestly just finished adding the John Williams theme to my new Superboy website that I'm starting when I read the news.
The man was only 52...what a terrible shame.
I finally signed up for typekey so that I could say thank you, Linda. I really, truly cried when I saw his name in the paper this morning--something I've never done over a celebrity. I guess I believed him, too. I just figured that one of these days I was going to turn on the tv and there he'd be--lurching, maybe, and being helped along, but walking. Thanks, again. He deserves such a wonderful rememberence.
You said everything I was thinking. I was another one who thought she'd see him get up and walk one day. I am sorry he didn't make it in his time here on Earth. I know he's walking, riding horses and flying wherever he is now.
Thank you for a wonderful tribute.
I hate to be a buzzkill here, but I beg to differ (politely, of course). Reeve was, like a lot of celebrities, somewhat arrogant. He was riding a horse and was getting braver and braver in what he would attempt. I don't know the terms when it comes to equestrian events, but I do know that he was injured when he attempted a move that he was advised not to by his instructor simply because his skill level was not appropriate. He did it anyway and was paralyzed at the age of 42.
With all due respect, I feel the more inspirational folks who really deserve us all looking up to them are the ones who had no choice in the matter (i.e., were born that way) and still soldiered on bravely. Not those who were blessed with a healthy body and were reckless with it.
I absolutely feel pity for Reeve and his family, but I don't admire him.
Well, would that we all were so perfect.
With all due respect in return, there's a time and a place for things, and the day after the guy dies might not be the time for potshots. He probably suffered enough to pay for the egregious mistake of misestimating his equestrian abilities.
Well, I don't want this to devolve because I certainly don't mean offense, but I have someone in my family who is paralyzed through no fault of his own and it just has always bothered me that Reeve was made out to be a hero, when I feel like he squandered a precious healthy life. Generally, I feel your site fosters debate and I was just putting in my opinion and trying to offer another viewpoint -- not taking "potshots," as you imply.
People make mistakes. They're not perfect. He had kids; he had a wife. I don't think he set out to "squander a precious healthy life." People make calls every day that carry some degree of risk -- the decision to drive to work carries a risk. The decision to go canoeing on vacation carries a risk. It's always possible to look back with perfect hindsight and say, "Shouldn't have done this; shouldn't have done that."
My admiration for people who do well in difficult situations isn't a zero-sum game. It's not admiring Christopher Reeve's handling of his circumstances or admiring someone else's handling of theirs. It's not a contest for who's the most worthy. Admiring Christopher Reeve doesn't consume admiration that would otherwise be spent on someone else. The man had a horrible thing happen to him, and like a lot of people who have horrible things happen to him, yes, you can look back and find ways he could have avoided it.
But he didn't. So there he was. And to me, the decisions he made after that point showed grace. Grace that is not degraded by the fact that he could probably have avoided being in that situation in the first place. I don't see what those two things have to do with each other. I don't see why I can't admire the course of action he took after a certain point in life, simply because I may be able to find fault with other things he did -- particularly where, to me, the finding of fault is miniscule compared to what he did that was admirable.
To me, the whole "he was arrogant, like most celebrities" bit is an unnecessary dig that really has nothing to do with anything, and it smacks of something kind of unfair. Many people who aren't celebrities do dangerous things because they're fun. People go mountain-climbing, they zing their snowmobiles around, and they generally do things that aren't entirely safe. I don't think it's fair to paint all those people as arrogant, nor do I think Reeve's tendency in that direction was there because he was a celebrity.
Should we all be more grateful for our precious and healthy days? Of course. Are any of us always as appreciative as we should be? No. Don't we all do things every day that reflect some failure to fully appreciate our situations in life? I know I do.
To me, it's people like Christopher Reeve -- or any person who holds up well in a very difficult set of circumstances -- who teach better than anyone else that it is important to be more grateful and more appreciative.
I just can't see him as some callow representation of celebrity worship. If he were beloved only for being paralyzed -- had he disappeared from the public eye after his injury and simply been seen in pictures, breathing through a tube -- I would see your point, in that being befallen by tragedy is not, in and of itself, heroic. But bearing up under its effects is heroic, whether or not I can go back and shake my head at all the ways it might have been avoided.
ehhh... I am glad that he's free again, but I think the real gift that Reeve provided all of us was how he opened up a dialogue and put a recognizable famous face on a branch of research and human life that was needed.
regardless of how he got in the chair, he was there, and fought to get himself out of it, and fought for others' chances as well. I think he even tried some experiemental procedures, which may end up being a stepping stone for another's progress.
Rather than sink into the background, he put himself out there because that's the best he could do for himself and others that haven't been as fortunate as he was.
He championed a cause, and I respect him for that.
I hope his family can find solace in that, and perhaps see someone else take their first steps.
I'm also a bit bothered by the idea that some people acquire a disability or an illness "through no fault of their own," and apparently the others somehow deserve it or brought it on themselves. (It feels similar, to me, to the describing of some with AIDS as "innocent" -- children particularly -- leaving the others apparently guilty.) As Linda said, it's not a zero-sum game: we can have sympathy for (or, when appropriate, admire) those in this situation, HOWEVER it happened.
Any of us might be construed as somehow "throwing away a healthy life" by dozens of choices we make every day: driving, eating junk occasionally, drinking sometimes, not exercising as much as is recommended, whatever.
Some have argued that Pat Tillman and Dale Earnhardt threw their lives away by getting themselves into high-risk situations.
I have never gotten involved in those arguements, because as much as I hate war and motor sports, those were choices that didn't put anybody at risk but the chooser.
That being said, in no way would I classify horse-jumping as high-risk, given that one is more likely to fall off a ladder than be thrown by a horse.
The incident reminded me of an old T.V. movie with Carrie Fisher and John Ritter. He ends up paralyzed from a polo accident and becomes solitary and embittered. Princess, um..sorry, Carrie Fisher ends up finally breaking down his barriers and in the end becomes his girlfriend.
I remember how hard it was to watch that movie, because the Ritter I knew up till then was always so full of life.
Now he's gone to...
I need a drink.
Thanks so much, Linda, for saying it just how it sounded in my head. Reeve took the entirely crappy circumstances life threw at him and spent the rest of his life as a fighter, recognising that his fame was both a gift and kind of a responsibility, too.
I'd been wondering why this was resonating so familiarly with me, and you've made me realise that my other Christopher Reeve was Elizabeth Glaser and her advocacy for AIDS patients.
I was another one who really wanted to believe that Reeve would walk again one day. I feel lost and sad knowing that he didn't.
« close it
September 01, 2004
"I now understand how she feels that she did not consent"
Now . . . okay. I understand that the prosecutors dropping the case against Kobe Bryant is not a big shock, considering how things have been going. But here's what surprised me. Apparently, Bryant made this statement:
Although I truly believe this encounter between us was consensual, I recognize now that she did not and does not view this incident the same way I did. I now understand how she feels that she did not consent to this encounter.
It still strikes me as weird that a guy would wind up saying that in retrospect, he understands how she might not feel like she consented. That sounds inherently suspicious to me, and totally inconsistent with his previous claims that she made the whole thing up to extort money from him or get her boyfriend's attention.
It just sounds weird. "Well, yeah, looking back, I guess she might feel like she didn't consent." It's not that I couldn't write a scenario where that happened, but if that's even remotely the case, I don't get how he was so goddamn sure she was full of it when the charges were first filed.
I don't know. It's an awfully odd thing to gradually realize.
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Maybe the sheer relief of having the charges dropped made him come off as sounding a little bit more conciliatory than his lawyer might have thought prudent, but who knows?
I'm glad it's over too. Just so fucking sick of hearing about it.
My advice to women? Stay the hell away from professional athletes. Period.
I think it makes sense, in the context of everything. I think he probably has felt bad this entire time, and if you read his entire statement, it seems like he has been communicating with her in some form (whether through lawyers or what, I don't know).
Anyway, the statement actually made me like him more (which might be the point), although it surprised me, too. Couldn't they retry him using that statement, even though she has said she won't use the statement in the civil trial?
I believe the dismissal was with prejudice, meaning he can't be re-tried. I'm also willing to wager the statement was an aspect of an already negotiated settlement of the civil suit. Perhaps not, but that's my guess-- I highly doubt he'd make that statement if there was any uncertainty about the status of the civil suit.
I too am glad to see this coming to an end.
I thought the same thing, PB, after I posted this -- that he never would have said that if he didn't already know the outcome of the civil suit, because whether they can retry him or not, that comment would create major problems in the civil suit.
I agree with everyone that one way or another, it's good to have it over. My only concern is that I'm kind of creeped out about her deciding not to participate after the court kept fucking up and releasing her name and address over and over again. I don't mind if she dropped it because she chose to on her own terms, either because she was wrong or because she chose to just get on with her life (I mean, you could debate that all day, but there you go), but if she dropped it because crazy threatening assholes were ruining her life, that's very bothersome. It's hard to know how to react.
I think PoolBoy nailed it. They reached a monetary settlement. He wasn't going to pay unless the charges were dropped, so she refused to testify. But she wanted some level of public vindication, so they agreed to that weak, mealy-mouthed apology which basically says, "I thought it was consensual, but understand that you may feel that it wasn't." Which makes no sense. Consenual sex is or it isn't.
The civil case is apparently "going forward" but I guarantee you terms have been reached. No one is going to be deposed, etc. The final agreement will contain the mother of all confidentiality terms. The only reason they don't announce the settlement terms of the civil case is that they don't want to make it look obvious that she is being bought.
From my perspective, it makes her story less believable, not more. If she was right, she could have gotten the conviction, money, and true public vindication. Instead, she took the money, her alleged rapist won't see the inside of a jail cell, and she'll never be able to tell her side of the story.
That Pool Boy, he's a smart one.
I think what especially throws me is the tense he used: "I truly believe" it was consensual. Seems to me that "believed" is the only word that even remotely makes sense in that sentence, and the past tense would cover his ass just as well legally. If she didn't think she was consenting, dude, it wasn't consensual. The legal issue, of course, is whether he believed at the time that she was consenting. His use of the present tense just makes it: I understand she didn't think she was consenting, but I know she totally did.
« close it
June 16, 2004
Let Me Call You Thweetheart
Okay, I haven't so much been doing the link-to-wacky-news-item thing recently, but every once in a while, something comes along that's just too good to pass up. And today, it's this.
My favorite part is where they have no idea what happened to the tongue. She might have swallowed it, but she doesn't remember. Now, I'm a forgetful person sometimes. I'll forget my keys, forget a phone call I'm supposed to make, forget to write a thank-you letter.
But I'm thinking that if I bit off part of someone and ate it, I would remember. Not trying to make myself out to be a hero, just kind of . . . saying.
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I like how they walked together to the pay phone at 3AM, to call police.
"Sorry I bit your tongue clean off, hon."
"Oh, ya know, whatever. You didn't mean it."
"Thanks, sweetie."
"It' thokay."
I find it interesting that they had to go to a fast food restaurant to find a phone. No land lines OR cell phones in the apartment?
My other thoughts were:
I wonder where he 'squeezed' her.
and
I suppose he's lucky they were only kissing when she decided to exact revenge.
Ah, just too many jokes to be made....
I hope her name is Kathryn, so that when someone asks, he can legitimately reply in the affirmative to "Kat got your tongue?"
Yeah, like I already don't have enough fear of women.
I am sitting here at one in the morning, laughing so hard I woke the cat up. That's almost as good as the story where the woman got so mad at her boyfriend she snatched the balls clean off his body and when the doctor was asked about the prognosis for recovery, he said, "In a case like this, generally, it's goodbye, Charlie." GOODBYE, CHARLIE, I tell you. Oh, man, I needed that laugh.
« close it
June 15, 2004
Uh, NO
You know, I understand that some people swear a lot. I've been known to swear myself. (Shocking, I know.) But there are some words that are always nasty, and the one they're discussing here is one of them.
It's one of the few nasty words I don't use, ever. Because I hate it. Because it's ugly. Because it's . . . well, "filthy and vile," like the story says.
And "a term of endearment"? No. Not ever. No.
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That word is worse than the f-word. Waay worse.
I agree. I've never called someone a gender-traitor before, but she's so clearly just trying to cover the University's ass. I could almost believe the argument if the word was something like "bitch", because my friends and I call each other than all the time. But the mere fact that I knew exactly which word was the subject of the article, before reading the article, just from your talking "around" it? Pretty obvious that word is in a category by itself.
Agreed. It's like... THE mother of all wrong words. It wouldn't matter how angry I was with someone... I know that I couldn't bring myself to ever take it to the "c-word" level.
>>>She was asked, "Can you indicate any polite context in which that word would be used?"
Hoffman answered, "Yes, I've actually heard it used as a term of endearment."
Hmmm.... I wonder how it would turn out if people started calling Ms. Hoffman that word with a nice smile on their face... CU is a freaking embarrassment and continues to set new lows in integrity.
Yeah, but it's about the verbal proclivities of athletes. Althletes, the British, and Quentin Tarantino can make anything into a term of endearment... or a slur, come to think of it.
In the context of the real world, here and now, yes -- that's the granddaddy of nasty words. And there is clearly something very much messed up about CU and its culture.
But have ya SEEN 'Kill Bill Vol. 2?' There is a way. Hoffman at CU is probably blowing smoke, and she's all the stuff you guys say, but she's not necessarily empirically wrong. Now, how much that matters, I don't know. And I seriously doubt the silly bint (Medieval Studies guru or not) has the chops to make it work. And she should most definitely know better. But there is... a way.
I'm reluctant to be absolutist about words that can NEVER be used -- it confers a kind of magical power that actually gives them more power, if you follow me. And the whole thing is undermined in this case because she's so clearly under orders to cover the university's ass. But there may be a time for it.
(Example: a friend who's a nurse told me of a time when he was supervising a shift of nurses, and found that one of them was deliberately neglecting and giving substandard care to a patient who was HIV-positive. When he asked her about that, she said "Well, those people are sinners and deserve to die anyway." He brought out the c-word on her then, for the only time in his life he told me, and I think he was justified.)
I wouldn't use the "C" word in that situation, though. I'd use the word "suspended."
I use to really hate the C-Word, but then I started using it more, and I kinda like it now. Mainly, I use it around my friends who feel equally de-sensitized to it. I do understand that it can be highly offensive to others, so I refrain from using it in the presence of and directed against those who are not so comfortable with the word.
But really, it is a good word. Just say it a couple of times to yourself while on the toilet or something. It can be quite liberating.
The best part of that article is this:
"But, the spokesperson said, because Hoffman is a medieval scholar, she is aware of the long history of the word. She said it was not always a negative term."
You've got to love when people whip things like that out as a defense. Etymology is one thing (though I'd personally love to hear the historical context for the c-word). But, for example, 'negro' wasn't always a historically negative term either but that doesn't mean you'd want to attempt to justify using it in 2004!
--- I'd personally love to hear the historical context for the c-word ---
'kay.
from http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A753527 :
"...The word has Germanic cognates including old Norse (kunta), middle-Dutch (Kunte) and possibly High German (Kotze meaning prostitute), which all point to a pre-historic germanic ancestor kunton. A Latin word, Kuntus, meaning wedge, might also have been an influence. The word would appear to have entered the English language during the early Middle Ages; in 1230AD, both Oxford and London boasted districts called 'Gropecunte Lane', in reference to the prostitutes that worked there. The Oxford lane was later renamed the slightly less-contentious Magpie Lane, while London's version retained a sense of euphemism when it was changed to 'Threadneedle Street'."
I never would call a woman that word to her face, or say it in front of a woman, but I will use it with men to describe a woman, but only if b***h or a**hole just do not seem strong enough to suit the horrid behavior I witnessed or was subject to. Oddly, my 60ish women therapist once used it to describe a former girlfriend of mine when I continued to obsess about the emotional harm she did me ten or so years ago. I believe the quote was, "Get over it, she was a ..." Also, I recently saw a clip from something on British TV where they asked TV stars what their favorite swear words are. The actress who plays Donna on the West Wing, Miss Alli's very favorite show, used that word with great relish.
I made "women therapist" plural. I know. Idiot. Well, ast least your not as fascist about these things as Sars.
I can't defend the use of the word as a slur or label, but when used as a sexual term in intimate situations, it can be quite powerful and dirty in a nice way.
In terms of using it to describe someONE, well, yeah, I've never heard it used in anything but a horribly offensive context.
I'm kind of torn about this word - my feminism is at war with my love of swearing. Have you read "C***", by Inga Muscio? It's got a lot of interesting material about the history of the word and its potential. I use it in an anatomical sense, but also use it as a swear word. Either way, I think it's a shame that it has this totemic quality as the ultimate bad word. However, I'm Australian, and I think it's considered slightly less offensive here than it is in the US.
Yeah, I don't use it. Well, except with specific reference to Ann Coulter. I mean, what else could you call her?
« close it
June 14, 2004
My Guys Get Pennsylvania
This just in: Clarence Thomas doesn't think the Establishment Clause is extended by the Fourteenth Amendment to the states, but applies only to the federal government. He also thinks that it's only an establishment of religion if it's enforced by "force of law and threat of penalty."
Does this mean it would be constitutional to declare Catholicism the official religion of the United States, as long as you couldn't go to jail for being Jewish? Does it mean that it would be constitutional for a state that doesn't have a separate Establishment Clause in its state constitution to declare an official state religion, provided it didn't enforce it with penalties for noncompliance? Minnesota has an official state muffin, and it happens to be blueberry, but you don't go to jail for eating cranberry walnut muffins. Would making Lutherans official also be legal?
I have no answers; I'm just wondering. It's just not a theory you hear very often.
(I will acknowledge that, as to whether the Establishment Clause prohibits the federal government from establishing a national religion, Thomas says, and I quote, "Probably." Speaking as someone raised in a religion whose adherents used to be burned fairly regularly . . . whew!)
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That Thomas opinion is absolutely frightening. I can't believe he woke up from his nap and that is what he produced.
And if we're going by history, I think our guys should get Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Rhode Island. (And does that mean the Unitarians get a share of Massachusetts?)
On behalf of Oregon, dibs on Wicca.
That Clarence Thomas--definitely the single most qualified candidate for the S. Ct. his year, no question about it. Mind like a steel trap.
No, I think you mean that his mind was CAUGHT in a steel trap, and he had to gnaw it off to get away.
As a jewish New Yorker, I claim New York for us. or at least NYC. Thomas is a moron. I mean, it took me all of 6 seconds to open my First Amendment textbook to the still-flagged page labelled "Establishment Clause", and find Everson v. Board of Education (330 US 1 (1947)), where the court has the following gem: "The meaning and scope of the First Amendment, preventing establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, in the light of its history and the evils it was designed to suppress, have been several times elaborated by the decisions of this Court prior to the application of the First Amendment to the states by the Fourteenth. The broad meaning given the Amendment by these earlier cases has been accepted by this Court in its decisions concerning an individual's religious freedom rendered since the Fourteenth Amendment was interpreted to make the prohibitions of the First applicable to state action abridging religious freedom. There is every reason to give the same application and broad interpretation to the 'establishment of religion' clause."
Sorry about the long quote, but I didn't want to paraphrase because it really can't get much clearer.
Just a follow-up. Looking at Thomas's opinion, he only cites Everson once, and he only cites the dissent. Yeah, that's some strong legal analysis there. Moron.
I'm just shocked that Thomas actually said something on his own.
My third year moot court competition (I made the national semi-finals, yeah!) was an establishment clause issue, so I get into these cases.
Personally, I could not disagree with Thomas more, and I think his argument that the Establishment Clause is not part of the "fundamental freedoms" guaranteed by the 14th Amendment is a little frightening.
That being said, a lot of Justices in the last 60 years have had strange ideas about the State's role in religion, and actually predicting what the Court will do with any one issue is nearly impossible. One of Scalia's great dissents was when he compared the Lemon test to a creature from a horror movie that can not be killed and keeps coming back from the dead.
Just thought I'd mention that there is some discussion going on about Thomas' opinion at dailykos.com:
http://54cermak.dailykos.com/story/2004/6/15/11435/1652
Us agnostics are going to end up with Delaware, aren't we? Great... we're in Delaware.
That said. Is it just me or are we taking a serious turn towards the plot of a bad late 80s sci-fi novel? Between this and the possibility our foreign policy is being set by people with a sincere desire to bring about the End of Days, I'm expecting mutants and water riots any time now.
« close it
June 12, 2004
Ten Years and Counting
I'm crazy about Dahlia Lithwick, and the fact that her piece on the tenth anniversary of the O.J. Simpson trial wasn't totally satisfying to me is just another sign that the damn thing is really hard to write about, because . . . what is that about? How much everyone cared? I mean, yes, we watched, but . . . why? Is it as simple as sex-sports-death-race-theater?
See, my perspective on O.J. is very specific. The murders were in the summer of 1994, and I went to law school that fall. And in that way that events have of following you, the O.J. Simpson trial followed me around for the next three years, right through graduation. You couldn't tell anybody you were in law school without hearing it.
"What do you think of the O.J. trial?"
Well, I think the same things as you, probably. All of the attorneys are idiots, and the judge needs to put leashes on every one of them.
"Gonna be one of those Dream Team attorneys and get criminals off on technicalities?" (Yes, people really say things like this.)
No, I was thinking I'd just try to find something that will let me pay my student loans, actually.
Keep in mind, I had entered a field that has plenty of anecdotes for anyone who's inclined to look for them. It's not like O.J. was the only game in town, of course. There was this, too:
"Oh, you're going to be like that lady who sued McDonalds because she was flying down the highway at 80 miles an hour with an open cup of coffee between her thighs and she got an owie."
Well, first of all, I don't plan to be a tort lawyer, and second of all, everything you think you know about the McDonalds coffee lady is a lie, so would you mind shutting the hell up while I study for finals?
But mostly, it was O.J. Ten years later, I have to say, people don't bring it up to me very much anymore. Everyone seems just as happy to forget. It's not a pleasant case to contemplate if you think he's guilty, which I do. And it's exhausting to sort through, because once you start to think about it, you're taken straight to the issues of race and police culture and wealth and celebrity and equality, and it's just . . . you get tired.
Maybe the lesson is that there's no lesson. Maybe it's sui generis, as they taught us back then. Like Dahlia says, it really hasn't been repeated, but it's not like I feel as if that's because we learned anything. If Kobe Bryant went crawling down the highway in an SUV right now, they'd show it, wouldn't they?
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They would show a Kobe-style Bronco chase, because the spectacle and the trial ought to be different things, and that one was lost the minute Ito let cameras in the place.
And I'm still naive enough to think that most of the time, if you claim you were never there and yet the victim's blood is on your socks, well, that's fairly persuasive.
I still harbor the fantasy that there could be new evidence or testimony, or some basis for a re-trial...
(Also, in the course of his low-speed chase, Kobe would collide with several things and then pretend to be injured, only to spring back up and do it again.)
It's not quite the same, but I feel like the collapse of the twin towers followed me around for at least a year after it happened. Whenever I mentioned that I was an architecture student, that's what people would bring up. Because that's what people wanted to know, how it could have happened, the structural failure of a building. I guess it was just the foremost architectural issue of the nation at the time. It was hard to deal with people bringing it up all the time, though.
Yeah. I started law school two years after you, and they had already written textbooks on the subject. Seriously. I still have a book on my shelf entitled "The O.J. Files" that's pretty much a procedural analysis of the entire case (and all it's screwups). I can't remember what class it was assigned for, but it was probably Crim.
Thanks for that link to the essay on the McDonald's coffee case! I found it very enlightening--clearly there were some salient facts in the case that weren't widely publicized.
« close it
June 11, 2004
Huh. Okay.
As stated below, I'm not here to pick on Ronald Reagan. I think you get to die and have a funeral and have your family mourn you, and that's fine. I'm happy to stay out of the way.
But the state funeral, as a spectacle, is weird.
First of all, an orchestra? At a funeral? I'll grant you, my particular religious tradition involves funerals that essentially consist of everybody who loves you sitting around together talking about how much they dug you, so I furrow my brow over extreme ritual fairly readily.
But second of all, I find the descriptions of Reagan more than a little bizarre. As I told Glark, they're talking about Reagan like he was sort of a combination of Jesus, Caesar, and Kermit the Frog. A "child of light"? With "no dark side"?
And was it my imagination, or did Danforth sort of imply that Reagan was going to . . . come back from the dead? Because . . . CNN is really going to have to ramp up for that.
And . . . did he compare Reagan to God? How Reagan got elected and cut everyone's taxes, just like God made the sun?
Maybe I'm just not a blowout-funeral kind of person. Because the whole thing kinda makes me scratch my head.
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He did kind of flirt around the idea that Reagan was going to come back from the dead. Before he just rolled it back. These folks really do need to see some zombie movies beside 'The Passion.' And he did compare him to God.
Which lead me to this: 'Angels in America' is maybe more about the eighties and the Reagan administration as any of the things that it is actually about, and as the homily was being read, I kept thinking about the theme of God abandoning mankind in the play. So even if you buy the Reagan-as-God thing, it still holds--he retreated behind the big desk, and then into his own head, and then he went away altogether.
Now, that being said, I thought Danforth's bit was at least more interesting and appropriate than Bush's attempt to make the event about him.
I think the most amusing thing about the loooong loooong formal service is the collection of drowsy faces. Clinton's was particularly memorable.
It reminds me of Nixon's funeral. Remember Nixon? The man who had to resign from office and be pardoned by his successor in order to avoid an almost-certain prison term for the actions he took is support of his own re-election? The one who had an Enemies List? Who tarnished the office of president? Who chose as his vice-president a man who had to resign in a cloud of scandal? Who sent Henry Kissinger out to carry out activities that some people believe (and seem to have plausible support for their belief) constitute War Crimes? The man who instigated the Saturday Night Massacre because the investigation was getting too close to the truth?
Yeh, that's the Nixon I remember, too.
But when he died, all the news media could talk about was his great statemanship. Endlessly.
It's as if, when one of these guys dies, no one can remember the truth about them, so they make up shit like how they will come back from the dead and how they have no darkness in them.
Fundamentally, it dishonors the real person who moved among us during his lifetime. Shining light beings with no dark side have no depth, no substance. And people who recall Reagan as partly admirable and partly flawed are being treated like the worst kind of scalawags. Personally, I hope to be remembered as partly admirable and partly flawed. Because I'd like to be remembered as I am, not as a whacked out news media seems to think people shold be recalled.
In spite of myself, I caught bits and pieces of the service and aftermath. I switched off when the eulogies began
Some of the music was nice. Clinton was diggin' the choral hymn that always reminds me of Monty Python: "Jerusalem." He was probably reliving the heady days of his Oxonian mis-spent youth. Everybody else looked dead, or nearly there.
Graham Chapman's "improved" lyrics for "Jerusalem" are at
http://arago4.tn.utwente.nl/stonedead/tv-series/lyrics/jelusarem.html
But yeah, the obsequiousness of the obsequies are a bit much. No, they're a lot much. Maybe singing the fun lyrics will make it better.
But of course Reagan's coming back from the dead. And he will CRUSH Kerry in the election.
cf. http://bush-zombiereagan.com/
BRAINS! Braaaaiiiiinnnsss!
I'm so glad I had to work today and had no access to a television.
Scorcha - be sure to do your homework on Richard Nixon. He surely wasn't the only Prez to do unsavory things -- he just got caught because he was paranoid and was involved in breaking into Watergate. He actually was known before and after that as brilliant when it came to foreign policy and, while he's certainly far from my favorite President, he ONLY gets remembered for the bad things, not the good. And there was good, believe it or not.
« close it
June 07, 2004
I Am America's Favorite Lawyer
Okay, maybe not. But it's just puffery! Pardon me while I have a total geek-out for a moment by directing you to this lovely case, in which the integrity of various claims regarding pasta is considered. What is America's favorite pasta?
It also makes me deeply happy that "bluster" is considered a positive thing in this context.
Incidentally, while I'm being a total dork about how awesome some appellate opinions are, I will give a shout to Judge Posner, the funniest crank in the federal court system. You have not lived until you have read this opinion about Motel 6 and bedbugs. Classic.
Perhaps from time to time I will link to an opinion, because . . . judges get bored, and sometimes, they are funny. Either accidentally or on purpose.
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Well, again.
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Well, again.
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Hey- I'd just like to say I really appreciate you linking to those cases, because they were fabulously entertaining! I'm hoping you do indeed decide to occasionally link to the more amusing ones you come across. Cheers!
Oh, God, any more of Judge Posner's opinions we should know about.? That was just too funny. Worth it for the snide aside on the valuation of company's value alone. I love how he pretty much spots exactly how the jury came up with the punative amount, and doesn't particularly disagree with it (though he suggests some alternatives). Prime linkage, Miss Alli.
Hey, New World Pasta declared bankruptcy a month ago (cheating my client out of an award of attorney's fees) -- that case should have been stayed, and the decision never issued. The 8th Circuit is out of control. Heh.
(Seriously, nice to see NWP get bit).
You know, I had never before realized that "puffery" had a legal definition. The things you learn on the Internet!
I admit to an inordinate fondness for Zatarains v. Oak Grove Smokehouse, 698 F.2d 786 (5th Cir. 1983).
Hee. I love that he can quote Aristotle and the legal ramifications of pulling a chair out from under someone on the same page.
Actually, the funny runs in the family. Judge Posner's son, Eric, was my contracts professor in law school. He always enjoyed the more outrageous anectdotes of a fairly large (as in football player large) classmate who had formerly been a repo man.
Have you ever read any opinions by Judge Samuel Kent-S. Dist TX? He's also incredibly funny. I used to have the full-text of this one but I can't find it. Here's a synposis & I think it hits all the best parts.
absolvitor: judge samuel b. kent
Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corporation, Inc., et al
Civil Action No. G-00-558, 2001 WL 739951 (S.D. Tex. June 27, 2001)
[Judge Kent begins the order by stating the case, then proceeds as follows.]
"[T]he Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed. Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions. With Big Chief tablet readied, thick black pencil in hand, and a devil-may-care laugh in the face of death, life on the razor's edge sense of exhilaration, the Court begins."
[The court discusses summary judgment law, followed by several caustic remarks about the quality of defense counsel’s (representing Phillips) filings, including the statement that [a] more bumbling approach is difficult to conceive. Then the court rips into plaintiff’s counsel.]
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"Despite the continued shortcomings of Plaintiff's supplemental submission, the Court commends Plaintiff for his vastly improved choice of crayon: Brick Red is much easier on the eyes than Goldenrod, and stands out much better amidst the mustard splotched about Plaintiff's briefing. But at the end of the day, even if you put a calico dress on it and call it Florence, a pig is still a pig. Now, alas, the Court must return to grownup land. [Court resolves issue on its own.] ...
"Take heed and be suitably awed, oh boys and girls - the Court was able to state the issue and its resolution in one paragraph ... despite dozens of pages of gibberish from the parties to the contrary! ...
"After this remarkably long walk on a short legal pier, having received no useful guidance whatever from either party, the Court has endeavored, primarily based upon its affection for both counsel, but also out of its own sense of morbid curiosity, to resolve what it perceived to be the legal issue presented. Despite the waste of perfectly good crayon seen in both parties' briefings ... the Court believes it has satisfactorily resolved this matter. Defendant's Motion for Summary Judgment is granted."
Have you seen this Georgia case: Washington v. Alaimo, et al., 934 F. Supp. 1395 (S.D. Ga. May 17, 1996)?
Sometimes the material just writes itself. "Motion to Kiss My Ass" indeed.
I spent much time as a 2L (before I got a clerking job, natch) using my free student Westlaw account to read Posner opinions. The best I remember was one in which his panel upheld the conviction of a gang member for a parole violation, viz., distributing guns to members of his "former" gang. There was no direct evidence of that distribution--instead, guns he had were later found in the possession of gang members. The defendant's defense was, seriously, "I lost them," that is, several guns in succession. The opinion turned on whether the defendant's "knowledge" that the guns would wind up in the hands of the Blackstones (I think that's right). The gist of his holding:
"Defendant lost guns in the same sense lawyers and judges lose ballpoint pens. I know I will eventually lose the pen I am writing with now. Defendant, in the same sense, 'knew' he would eventually lose his current gun. The difference is that experience taught Defendant where his guns wound up--in the hands of his fellows-in-arms--while I have no idea where my pens go. Affirmed.
Dang. Lawyers are as nutty as physicians, and judges are as nutty as Chiefs.
Anyone familiar with the "Barbie Song" case?
"...the Parties are advised to chill."
Here's the text of Washington v. Alaimo, et al., 934 F. Supp. 1395 (S.D. Ga. May 17, 1996): http://www.choof.org/news/kissmyass.txt . Motion for Restoration of Sanity indeed!
And here's the full text for Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corporation, Inc., et al
Civil Action No. G-00-558, 2001 WL 739951 (S.D. Tex. June 27, 2001):
http://www.clr.org/Bradshaw-Unity.html , in which Judge Kent "...cautions Plaintiff's counsel not to run with a sharpened writing utensil in hand -- he could put his eye out."
IP judgments are so fun, with the extended description of the items in question; I enjoy reading in judicial notice that Mueller's pasta cooks to perfect tenderness every time.
hee. I cannot WAIT to get to law school.
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June 04, 2004
Oh, Shut Up
For as long as this link lasts (probably until tomorrow), it reveals that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen demanded separate stars on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, but were turned down.
Okay, look. A star on the Walk of Fame isn't exactly the Nobel Peace Prize, but when you have never nabbed a credit on your own, EVER, and when your entire fame comes from your twosomeness? You can share a damn star. Shut up.
Man, they are so creepy.
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They *are* a creepy pair. What is with their lips? Whenever I see them out on the town now that they're tarty growed-up wimmin, I'm reminded that I need to re-caulk in the hall bathroom.
I never realized quite how stupid these two were until they were promoting that abomination, New York Minute. I saw 3 minutes of them on Letterman by accident and was astonished at how dippy they were and how they literally got confused on the simplest of questions. Then they did a brief appearance on the morning radio I listen to here and after they hung up, the guys were unsure what to say because the Stupid was just hanging in the air.
Oh, and I thought stars on the walk of fame are usually reserved for people who, oh, I don't know, have actually become somewhat legendary in Hollywood. If that's not the case anymore, then I nominate...ummm...how about PoolBoy? Oh, and me. I'd like a star, too. In fact, I'd even be willing to share.
So yes, they need to just shut up.
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April 30, 2004
Enough To Make You Develop Lactose Intolerance
So wait, now milk is going to cost almost four dollars a gallon? Pardon me, but I've always thought milk was kind of expensive anyway. Normally, I think hyperventilating over price increases is ridiculous, but a 25 percent increase in one day? Yeah, that'll drive a girl to get her calcium from Tums, for God's sake.
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Maybe we can try something new in our cereal...like water. I pay 3.35 for milk now, and I too think that is outrageous. 4 dollars? Eek.
I hope that would be bottled water. Evian goes for $2.29 for a 1.5 liter bottle at my local Fred Meyer (remember Fred Meyer, Linda!), which comes to....um....$6/gallon?
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April 27, 2004
Giant Menacing Snails Are Coming To Eat You
Okay, so as it turns out, when you see a snail as big as your head, you should turn it in to the police.
I love stories where it seems like nature is just really making sure you don't forget that she is not impressed with you. She could send a giant snail to destroy your economy, and she could do it like that, so don't get all up in her face with your ozone hole and your global warming and your oil spills. Snails! She will send giant, frightening snails!
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I can't believe I actually clicked on the link. I have a fear of slugs (don't laugh - I used to live in Washington State and they are huge there) and yet I looked at the picture of the giant snails. Shudder.
Ten years to eradicate snails? Come on, people. I mean sure, there were 18,000 of them, but they are snails. BIG snails. Big, SLOW, snails.
Dateline needs to do a story on this. It will be just like Killer Bees, only much more.... gradual.
"Giant African Land Snails have now infested the State of Georgia. The Department of Agriculture predicts that, left unchecked, they can be expected to overrun North Carolina within the next 450 years."
Zron, I just want to say: hee!
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April 23, 2004
Best URL Ever
Whatever your politics may be, I would hope you can at least see the humor in the URL here, because although URL humor is often lame, that is funny. (Link via Matt.)
You looked great on my TV Saturday morning. Although, was it just me or was Hoda being kind of a sexist wanker?