Yeah. Doug Grow knows how to handle the guy.

Yeah, don't get up. I'll just be over here under the table, rubbing my temples.

It's not like I don't have a thousand things to say about this ridiculous nonsense, but first among them, Dean Barkley is not an independent. Neither is Jesse Ventura. They are members of the Independence Party. Not independents. God, how illiterate can the news get?

I'm sorry, but every time I read one of these self-congratulatory, self-pitying, morally superior stories of Why Our Kids Are Better Than Your Kids Because We Don't Let Them Watch TV, it makes me want to punch someone. The notion of demonizing television itself -- as if television itself is evil, somewhere in the physical, mechanical television itself -- is absolutely irrational. Are they ever going to be allowed to go to the movies? Will that same movie be less offensive on a screen than if it were on a TV? What if you had a really, really bad-ass big-screen TV?

Like I said, it makes me want to punch someone. The intellectual and cultural arrogance is absolutely stunning.

Woo-hoo! People who are organized are not as sexy as people who are slobs. I KNEW IT! Yay!

I generally really enjoy Keith Olbermann's writing, and he's one of the few guys I think has the gloves off about Bud Selig the way people should. A case in point: this piece about uniform uniformity and the sacrifice of compassion to Nike. The company, not the goddess. You would almost think baseball would have to run out of ways to shoot itself in the foot at some point, but the supply appears to be endless.

Tonya Harding is right. I couldn't have less sympathy for her, and I hate her attorney, but she's probably right. Damn, those aren't words I thought I'd hear myself say.

Well, I'm glad to know that Seventeen has found someone new to guide the sucking.

I have no idea what to make of the whole Winona Ryder thing. I sort of think everyone is lying.

Wow, this is bizarre. What did Posh Spice ever do to anyone?

Oh, here we are again with the pedestrian thing. Yes, I yield to pedestrians. And I have no problem yielding to pedestrians. But this is not a one-sided thing where people in cars suck and people on foot are noble and safe. When you go walking into the street when there's a car coming that had no chance to even see you until you walked into the street? You're the problem, not the driver. Especially at an intersection that doesn't even have a crosswalk. What are drivers supposed to do, come to a stop at every cross-street in case someone walks out into the street all of a sudden? I walk in downtown St. Paul myself, and I never have problems because I look both ways before I cross the street, dammit. Furthermore, I'd like to know what idiot decided that the pedestrians, when they want the driver to STOP and let them cross, should wave GREEN FLAGS.

Sigh. We're going to have the weirdest election night ever up here in the frozen tundra. Strange happenings, and so sad. Not a happy time.

I coached Mariko Nakasone when she participated in high school mock trial. She is a bang-zoom, noisy, challenging, intelligent, warm kid, and this is a great article. It can almost start to tell you how cool she is. The part that sounds most familiar to me is the part about the marshmallow Peeps -- she is, above all else, an unapologetic goofball. Go, Mariko!