There are two reasons to read this story. The first is that it's just cool. The second is . . . how rough would it be to be named "Joe Guy"? Can't you just see your women friends going, "Well, I'm just not going to go out with any old Joe Guy . . . uh, sorry, Joe"?

Nothing about this article makes me think Jason Bateman is poised for a comeback. Poised to get cancelled again? Oh, yes.

Pool Boy has been talking about the release of the Freddy and Jason movie for weeks. I am not the target demographic, so explaining my overwhelming ennui about it would be pointless.

There is nothing more predictable on earth than backlash.

Golly. The guys at Fox News certainly do come up with some interesting court filings. Nothing like calling a guy "deranged" just because he got your guy's goat on C-SPAN.

I've seen Gigli massacred by a lot of people, but nobody has done it any better than Caple at Page 2. I'm telling you, this is my favorite destination for great writing these days.

Believe it or not, I've had occasion to listen to a lot of information about boxing over the last few years. I haven't emerged as one of those anti-boxing people, but if you want to know why boxing is still regulated, check out this story.

I went to school with Senator Joe's kids. I threw apple juice on one of them once. Hey, he was taunting me.

I really like the fact that you can call your restaurant Hooters, but you'll go under if you call it Knockers. It's a fine line sometimes.

Well, voting in California's gubernatorial election will be nice and simple, apparently. Just look through the 200 or so candidates until you find the one you want. No problem.

The debate over what exactly happened on Flight 93 strikes me as sad and strange, because . . . I'm not sure it matters as between the two feuding interpretations. I think it's pretty clear that one way or another, because of the actions of the passengers, the plane went down in a field instead of in Washington. I shudder to think of how much worse the day might have been, and they are plenty heroic enough to me either way. Breached the cockpit, made it clear they were GOING to breach the cockpit . . . as I said, either way.

Yay! I worked for Rives Kistler (among other people) when I was a law clerk in the Appellate Division at the Oregon Department of Justice. He is truly awesome. And extremely, extremely funny. He has a wonderful story about falling directly on his behind the first time he argued a case before the Ninth Circuit. I completely, unabashedly loved working in that office. Coach R (the attorney who was actually responsible for me) taught me the difference between "that" and "which" so thoroughly that it now irritates me every time I see it go by incorrectly. Come to think of it, I'm not sure that's a good thing.

It's got to be pretty depressing to realize that you've become a joke in about three ways in under two weeks, so the Ens have my sympathy, I suppose. But I think spending time with Tara Reid is prima facie evidence of misbehavior. To claim otherwise is very much like claiming to read Playboy for the articles.

If it turns out that Ruben really got paid on the sly in violation of the rules, this is going to be a great example of why you don't always want to sue everybody, particularly if they're in a position to spill something you don't want spilled. More to the point, I'm going to be pissed off because the Clay people do NOT need the gloat ammunition. Bleh.

I'm going to leave it in the words of Pool Boy: "Und now vee vill fix dee economee."

We've had this phenomenon, too -- kids who do a school project that involves having a bill introduced. I understand the impetus, but . . . no.

Whatever you think about what they should or shouldn't have done, I'm damn glad it didn't come down to this sort of thing, which was patently ridiculous from just about the moment it was suggested. I mean, while you're making sure you don't get in the way of Leviticus, you might check the commandments. Particularly the one about "false witness." Creep.

This is cool. You're going to see more of it. The fastest-growing fast food chain, as I understand it, is Subway. I am convinced that the fact that you can get food there that doesn't make you feel like you're in a grease pit is a big part of the reason.

Those of us who live in Minnesota are well aware that having your state's political environment become primarily known for its wackiness is fun for about three weeks, and then it gets scary. It's a shame to see California going down the same road.

Oh, yes. Everything this article has to say about the Vet is true. And I, too, will shed a little tear at its demise. I saw a no-hitter there once with my father. One of the most exciting experiences of my entire life, bar none.

This is an interesting idea, but actually, wandering around aimlessly is one of the things I like about New York. I'm not sure I'd want a camp counselor.

Is it wrong for me to say that although I find his show kind of amusing, I don't think Rocco is cute at all, actually? Does absolutely nothing for me. Nothing. Go figure.

Not to take an unhealthy level of interest in things that are a little too easy, but . . . what's this about, now?

Yeah, I never get people who do stuff like this. "Yay! We won! Burn the car!" I'm becoming an old lady, I'm afraid, because when I think "celebration," I think, "Margarita," not "vehicle immolation."

I'm sorry, "shoot him in the head"? Jeez, Dick Vermeil. Back off.